I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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