We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
