I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
