I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
