SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
