i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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