I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
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