one might say we're banned from that church
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
