he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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