His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
