rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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