im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
