That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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