why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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