I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
