What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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