its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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