He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
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a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
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There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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