Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
