im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
