She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
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Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
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You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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