Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize