he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
how does that bad decision feel?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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