Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
