I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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