is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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