I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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