dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
