i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
