Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
