Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
