I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Dear god my vagina.
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