problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize