none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
