i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
