All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
