You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
