He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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