Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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