you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
