so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
