I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
operation harelip BJ is a go
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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