the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
