So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
