he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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