Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
