I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
