hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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