why didn't you poke me back
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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