Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
