I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
