i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So apparently I’m into choking now
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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