i don't like sucking hair
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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