You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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