I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
