you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
