I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
