I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We need to rekindle our bromance
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You were trust falling into bushes
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
