I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
