If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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