how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
