saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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