It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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