i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
